Urie would have been a great person to have coffee with.

I just took a road trip to Niagara Falls last summer! I think Urie and I would have had a lot to talk about :-)

I find it fascinating how cyclical society is when it comes to figuring out what is best for the development of children, given a basis of a loving home. Studies have shown that modern-day parents actually spend far more time with their children than in the fifties and sixties, and yet are consumed by anxiety that they are not giving children enough attention. Why is that? Could it be possible that some of the quality time spent with children comes at the cost of not fulfilling some needs of the parents themselves? Does that not then adversely affect the family environment and the development of the child?

Ruma, I think your comment makes a very good point. It seems that, these days, we have different expectations of ourselves as people and parents. We expect to be able to be and do everything - both males and females, so we are harder on ourselves. We also have more going on, more activities to engage in, more distractions, more media to access knowledge and communication, so we are constantly "on" and hyper aware of everything we are missing out on, even if it's okay to miss out on things. I mean, seriously, is it so bad to miss a soccer game or two, does every one of our children's events need to be recorded, etc? We are overambitious and unrealistic about what we can handle. Both Mom and Dad cannot be the all encompassing parent - children actually don't need two all-encompassing parents, they need two complementary parents, balance, and structure in the household.

I think what Bronfenbrenner is trying to say, is that kids are being overwhelmed, probably by the very ambitions, pressures, and possessions that adults are being overwhelmed by. However, simplicity and spending time together (quality time AND quantity time) is probably what most of us really need for a healthy life.

I love the dialogue going on here. I think this has been one of the central debates of raising children for over two decades (probably longer based on when women were more often going to work than staying at home). Ruth I think you bring up an interesting point about the needs of the parents being overlooked at the same time the child's needs are being misinterpreted. My friends are just starting to have children and I have not yet heard one of them say they spend too much time with their new child. It's always about how there are not enough hours in the day and as Urie points out, taking care of the child starts to fit into the routine of just getting through each day. It's sad when you look at it that way. I'm not sure what the solution is but I feel as though it is going to take the shape of a major social movement. I also don't think the recession is helping anything of course as families are more stretched than ever.

I agree - we are truly a get up and go go go society - alwasy rushing from one thing to the next - never without some sort of electronic device on hand. I don't think I can recall a time when I was a child that my family didn't sit down together for a peaceful meal. This time of year, I can't say that for my own - it seems like we're rushing from one thing to the next, not getting a chance to enjoy quiet moments together. We had a chance on Saturday to eat outside on our deck, with no tv, radio, etc. It was really nice. My 8 year old even commented saying we should do this more often. I think we all just need to take a moment to appreciate the small things...life is too short.